Journey Into the Black Hole| V. Emanuel

In November of 1997 I had a serious problem with L. Ron Hubbard.

This was a little unusual, considering he'd been dead since 1986.

By the end of this, you may think I'm stranger than the Scientologists, but read on.

In 1997 my husband was offered business consulting services thru a company called Hollander Consultants, based in Portland Oregon. The price was in the average range for that sort of thing, and the salesman did a good job of talking it up--but one small part of their brochure worried us. It read, in part, "Our thanks to the L. Ron Hubbard Library . . ." We thought it would be best to check the company out. Well, in 1997, Hollander had nothing on the web, but Scientology was all over.

I started reading about Scientology, and even though half my brain said "Wow, isn't this stuff nuts?", the other half of my brain said "Yeah, and isn't it interesting?"

I hit every site I could find on the Internet. I spent some time on the official Church pages, but they were so bland as to be unbelievable. The Critic's pages went more in depth, and had 'the good stuff', the secrets of the CoS, teachings, papers, etc. Try reading about the 'fried space aliens', for example.

I gave up everything, and spent every free waking moment completely absorbed. I actually left work early one day for the express purpose of going to the library to take out something by L. Ron Hubbard. (I had a particular business-related reason, that's another story.) On a whim I took out the book next to it on the shelf also--'A Piece of Blue Sky' by Jon Atack. Okay, I thought, pro & con!

'The Dynamics of Life' was billed as a kind of prelude to 'Dianetics'. It was one of the hardest books I've ever read. Turgid would be a nice way to put it. By the time I finished I had a working grasp of the lingo of Scientology. By the time I finished 'Blue Sky', I knew these folks were scary and anyone with common sense would think once--twice--thrice before getting seriously involved with them. And yet--I was still hooked. Even as I was reading, even as I was LAUGHING at some of the things I read--my mind was spending more and more time dwelling on it. I took the 'Personality Test' not less than 3 times. Twice on the net from the official CoS site, and once I had a Level VIII Field Auditor e-mail me the OCA so I could print it out and snail mail it back to him to grade. I knew where the local church was, and I planned on going down. This was on a subconscious level. On the conscious level I still assured my husband I was fine. Reason?

I was embarrassed. After all, I was intelligent, wasn't I? If I was attracted to what others called a 'nut cult' maybe I was right and they were wrong! Couldn't let the old man know that, however, he'd just get upset. He's Pentecostal, and I'd been in that branch of Christianity long enough to know how he'd react. I'd gotten tired of fundamentalism, sometimes it insulted my intelligence.

I was just a tad too proud of my brain, wasn't I? Maybe I was just too smart for God! While I was in the Pentecostal faith, I'd seen some strange things--including what my tiny remnant of spirituality said was happening to me. Yeah, call me a nut if you want--this was demonic possession or L. Ron Hubbard was never born!

I said you'd think I was strange, didn't I? And you haven't even read about my Tom Cruise fixation yet! No problem. I've felt the draw of this cult, and I put up this website to warn others. You don't have to agree with my particular slant on God to agree that Scientology is a dangerous cult.

God has my attention now. I had to be frightened nearly to death before I'd pray, but pray I did! Fortunately with the Lord all you have to do is ask to receive. My prayers will always begin with 'Thank you for deliverance, Father' from now on.

Now--I was not pursued by this cult. Let me make that clear. I CHASED THEM. Yet I feel as though something precious has been stolen from me, and I've been left with a burden for those deluded souls held by the cult called the Church of Scientology. I want to do more, and if it's His will, God will open a way.

If you have a loved one in the CoS, please send me their name. If they would possibly agree to e-mail me, I'd love to write them. I won't preach--I'm not like that. If nothing else, we'll pray for God to move in the situation. He can do a lot more than you & I.

If you need serious help and you need it yesterday, contact Steve Hassan.