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(Posted on alt.religion.scientology 3/16/03)
Arnie,
I saw your post asking about how people have helped family members exit
Scientology, but lost it and can't get it back. So I'm responding with a new
thread.
Short answer: It would depend upon whether they are public Scientologists or staff, sea org, etc. They've got to have the chance to read or hear opposing viewpoints and be given information on mind control and cults -- if they are staff, they may be less willing to look at such "entheta" materials. And IMO it helps greatly if they can get some physical distance from the org and its hurry-hurry, don't-stop-to-think mentality.
Longer answer: My husband Chuck entered Scientology about a year before I did. Toward the end of that year, he began putting a great deal of pressure on me to join. (I didn't know at the time that he was being told that, unless he could persuade me to become a Scientologist, he would have to divorce me.) I began doing courses and auditing and was in for about six months. Although I liked auditing and had positive experiences in session, overall things never worked -I asked too many questions, hated & resisted regging, refused to "disseminate Scientology," etc.
Chuck was onboard the Freewinds when I decided I'd had enough. I began doing a lot of reading on the internet, both pro- and anti-Scientology sites. I found and read all the forbidden upper levels ... bwaaaahahahahaha. I discussesd some of what I was reading with other Scientologists and with org staff, and their answers to my questions didn't fly. I began making phone calls to get more information - I seem to remember that I talked with you, Arnie. :-))
When Chuck returned from the Freewinds (where he had been asked to speak at graduation, no less!) I gave him the materials that I'd printed out from internet sites along with a copy of Jon Atack's book, "A Piece of Blue Sky."
Even before his trip onboard the Freewinds he had told me that there were things making him uncomfortable about Scientology - he especially disliked that, in trying to recruit new members (which we were both being heavily pressured to do) he had to conceal the negative aspects of Scientology such as regging, disconnection policy, wacky Ethics Conditions. It felt dishonest. We decided that - go or stay - we would do it together. We read & talked.
We were very fortunate that the Lisa McPherson Trust existed at that time. I phoned Stacy Brooks and had several conversations with her - she also talked with Chuck and me together in a three-way call, as did Jesse Prince. I amforever grateful to those two people for sharing with us their own personal
experiences in Scientology. We had a three-way call with Liz Shaw at Wellspring - again, generosity and caring and information on how mind control and cults operate.
I had really only one hesitation about leaving. Chuck had been drawn into Scientology because he'd had cancer and, of course, they had promised that they could "help him with that." I feared that, if the cancer ever recurred, he might feel he had made a mistake in leaving Scientology. We talked at length about this and, in the end, he decided he wanted to go. So far as the cancer, we'd just take it one day at a time like the rest of humanity. Incidentally, he is now four years post surgery & followup radiation treatment with no sign of cancer recurrence. :-))
At the time when we were deciding whether to leave, Chuck was doing some extended work in Arizona while I remained at our home in California - we traveled back and forth on weekends. We had done almost all our Scientology services at the mission in Ventura, and I believe it helped that he was geographically separated from the mission. They did not have his address or phone number in Arizona, so they couldn't harass him there and he was free to read and reflect and take his time. The mission staff absolutely hated this. They pestered me with phone calls incessantly. They want you at the org every single day so that they can maintain their control of you.
In summary we read, we asked questions and (I'm convinced this is very important) we got ourselves out of the org long enough to be clear headed (bad pun, eh?).
Best to you, Arnie
~~~ Mary Ann
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